Just another day in the laundry trenches – towers of towels, piles of pillowcases, and the steady roar of industrial washing machines. Amidst the silence of a cycle coming to an end, out of nowhere: bzzzzzzzzz. What at first sounded like a ringing cell phone, he patted his pockets.
Nothing.
He checked his belt clip.
Nothing.
The buzz persisted, like a heat-seeking mosquito drawn to the scent of rain—or, in this case, dirty laundry. With the precision of a bloodhound on a scent trail, Mr. Smudg followed the hmmmmm straight into a mountain, double his stature of …pillowcases.
“If this contains batteries… I’m quitting,” Mr. Smudg grumbled to himself under his breath.
Buzzing Betrayal in a Dirty Hotel Room
Peeling back layer after layer of sweaty, grimy pillowcases, the buzz grew louder. Finally, Mr. Smudg uncovered the culprit: a sleek, very personal “wellness?” device that clearly had a more intimate role than pillow fluffing. It was still warm, still buzzing, and absolutely not hotel property.
Armed with triple-gloved hands and a prayer, Mr.Smudg whisked the device away to the “Nope Bucket” (AKA the lost-and-found of items that no one really wants found).
Key takeaways from this week:
If it buzzes, it is probably not a cell phone, and it is most definitely not commercial laundry equipment.
Remove batteries, and claim your items before checking out.
No one cares about traumatizing me.
Remember, behind every fresh linen promise is a team (and one perpetually grumpy mascot) cleaning up your midnight adventures, one pillowcase at a time. So next time you pack your bags, remember to leave a tip, take your gadgets, and respect the pillows for linens’ sake.
Until next time,
Mr. Smudg
Still here. Still Grumpy. Still unraveling the mysteries hiding in your sheets.